Why did so many people start following me when I haven’t posted in literally months…
Right.. So it’s been months since I’ve been on here. Literally, months.. There are several reasons why, and a few are relevant so I figured I’d just fill you in. Even though only a small fraction care, most likely.
As in my previous post, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. Luckily (or so I thought), he bought a plane ticket to come see me and fix things. He also bought me a promise ring. I took him back. This was in November.
Ever since then, we fought and argued more. I barely trusted him, but I was working on it. But he was different. I tried to get him back to how he used to be, but it was just hopeless. We had a very rough month in December, regardless of the fact that we were finally together everyday due to Winter Break. At the end of break, we fought harder than ever, realized it, and vowed to each other that we’d fix this mess and work on ourselves. Things were perfect the last week, and we both agreed that we never felt better about our relationship, and he specifically promised me that he would not leave me, nor give up on what we had.
He left me not even a week after this agreement with little to no explanation why.
I suffered a downward spiral. I was in deep depression, I lost 10 pounds (which doesn’t seem like much, but I literally can’t afford to lose a single pound, but those are medical issues I will not get into) from not being able to even simply keep food down, my grades suffered, my friendships were lost, it forced my parents to spend hundreds of dollars to come take care of me, I wrote several suicide notes and planned on it, the list goes on. I lost every ounce of sanity I had left and I was just not myself.
I avoided contact from everyone possible. This includes the Internet.
I spent all of my time either crying or coming up with ideas to get him back.
We are not back together, nor will we ever be.
I am snapping back now. I’m even seeing someone else, which I am actually very excited about. I like him a lot.
However, this is not the main reason I haven’t been on. It’s included, but not the main point.
I hate Tumblr and I hate that I am somewhat popular. I hoped not posting would cause my follower count to reduce and my photos to stop being reblogged. While I have lost roughly 300+ followers, my photos are still being reblogged and while I lose followers, I continue to gain as well. Of course I only have myself to blame for this. But when I got a Tumblr, I was young, naive, and insecure. I will fully admit that sharing my photos here and gaining notes on them made my confidence go up and made me feel better about myself. Now I see the damage I have caused myself and regret every photo I have ever uploaded. I contacted Tumblr myself to see if the photos could be permanently removed, they declined my request. So I got over it, hoped it would die down and it’d stop, it hasn’t, now I’m just kinda… Whatever about it, I guess.
I did not permanently delete my Tumblr because I wanted to keep track of my photos, give proper credit to my images that have been stolen and/or reuploaded, and to keep tabs of the girl “Mitchie” that enjoys repeatedly making fake blogs of myself and any other fakes out there. Disappearing completely would no longer give me what little control I do have.
Can I also throw in there, for this Mitchie bitch, if she’s reading, that you have literally ruined my life. I do not feel safe with anything anymore, thanks to you. I don’t feel safe on my own personal profiles, I can’t accept anyone on Instagram because I’m afraid it’s you, stealing my photos, I literally cannot walk home from my classes because I am afraid I’m being followed, and I feel like everyone I talk to is out to get me/is you, taking my personal information/photographs. You have been doing this for MONTHS. MONTHS. You need to stop, and leave me alone. Be yourself, Christ. It’s not that hard. I just want to be left alone, is that too much to ask? Is it that hard to upload photos of YOURSELF? Why do you have to pretend to be someone else? This is ruining my entire future and my career path in more ways than one. I have even talked to my lawyer about this, on several occasions, and we are trying to come up with ways to get this to stop permanently. What you are doing is not only harmful to me in more ways than one, but it is illegal. This needs to stop. Now.
Again, I’m not looking for sympathy or any of that shit, I realize this is my fault alone and I’m a dumbass for using Tumblr notes as an outlet for my self esteem issues. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could go back in time and punch myself in the face for it.
Just figured I’d give you an update on what’s been going on and where I’ve been. And to let everyone know I’m still here. So. Yeah.
Maybe I’ll start posting again here and there, who knows. We’ll see.
So I haven’t been on in forever and I apologize. I found out my boyfriend cheated on me so I basically crawled into a hole for a while.
But hey new followers, don’t know where you came from but hey. I don’t post much anymore so feel free to unfollow if you’d like.
Aaaand yeah that’s about it for now.
Oh my boyfriend preordered BioShock Infinite for me for my birthday.
Guess who’s gettin’ it next time I see him.
It’s my birthday in 3 days.